You know how some people have their first choice university, but then they have a safety choice, then two, three, or four backup choices they'd like to get into? But when all those choices fail, they go to the community college? I am the community college. That's why I won't get a girlfriend; at this point in my life I can't offer one what they need, much less what they want. Now fucking stop pestering me about it, elderly family members; I have important shit to do.
Follow me on twitter for at least a pun a day... whenever I can actually be bothered enough to try to keep up making them up.